


Pynch Drabbles

by Ji_chan



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Maybe OOC, Post-Canon, Probably ooc, attempts in soft pynch, but it is a very slow process, can't come up with proper titles to save my life, i hope i will finish them, not sure how successful, pynch - Freeform, this will be a collection of drabbles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-13
Updated: 2016-10-13
Packaged: 2018-08-22 06:26:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8275984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ji_chan/pseuds/Ji_chan
Summary: A someday-to-be-collection of drabbles. Pynch-centered because I am a pynch trash and I regret nothing.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Big big thank you to CrazyJill for beta-ing.
> 
> The first drabble takes place sometime between the final chapter and the epilog. Others are proper post-canon.

Adam Parrish is not a stranger to the feeling of fear. It’s the opposite, actually. Adam Parrish has known fear for most of his life.

 

His first memory is being afraid of not meeting expectations. Of being anything less than perfect. He remembers thinking that if he is perfect his dad would not get angry or his mom might smile. This fear has passed by the age of ten when he has learned that it’s not about him being or not being perfect. It’s about him being, period.

 

From that moment, he stops being afraid of disappointing them — they are disappointed by his mere existence and he can’t do a thing about it. He continues being careful and good and hard-working but now it is simply because he does not want to die for nothing. He avoids making mistakes as much as he can but when something really important comes up he never hesitates. He sneaks out to help Gansey look for Ronan, works late shifts, and deals with Cabeswater without much of a second thought. He gets caught, sometimes, but instead of fear he mostly feels hollow.

 

His new fear is formed a few years later. His scholarship at Aglionby is partial, and paying the other part is hard. He is afraid of getting kicked out without money, he drives himself to the point of exhaustion balancing studying and work shifts and his newly acquired friends and he somehow manages. The fear does not go away but Adam copes. The main thing is for his parents not to learn about the scholarship being partial. When they finally do learn he has no time to get scared, he is too busy falling to the ground hitting his head, then later — making choice between his father and his friend.

 

For 18 years fear often looks at Adam with the eyes a little similar to his own, it smells of alcohol and tastes like blood. But it fades slowly replaced by the other type of fear.

 

Adam Parrish is not a stranger to the feeling of fear. But this is the first time he is not scared for himself but of himself.

  
\- * -  
  


“You know it is not your fault”, Blue says. They are behind her house, near the birch tree. Adam pays half a thought to wonder if her father is there listening to their conversation.

 

“I know”, he sighs. He has a scrying bowl between his crossed legs although he looks at his own hands instead. Ronan finds his hands beautiful for some reason, Adam finds it difficult to see why — they are normal hands of a man that works a lot, calloused and often dirty. The oil stays under his nails even now, hours after his shift at the factory has ended.

 

The swift of cold air snaps Adam from his thoughts. It’s almost winter and he is sitting on the cold ground in nothing but jeans, a t-shirt, and an old jacket. He lifts his gaze to Blue in her tattered sweater made of randomly cut pieces. She looks at him with worry and it makes him a little bit happy. Vain, he reminds himself.

 

“I know that it was the demon and not me”, he tries. It is not a lie. But it is not a whole truth either. And he came here for an advice.

 

“It’s just, even if it wasn’t my will that time, I do have the power to hurt him. And he wouldn’t even put up a fight.”

 

His hands clutch into fists and it takes some willpower to relax them again. It scares him to death thinking Ronan loves him this much. No one had ever loved him this much.

 

“So?”, Blue picks a stray thread from somewhere on her sweater, then she looks Adam in the eyes.

 

“Just don’t hurt him. It’s that simple.”

 

Adam breathes in so quickly that the cold air stings the insides of his nose.

 

“Adam,” she stops for a moment and starts chewing her lip. “He needs you. Now more than ever. Don’t go around doubting yourself.”

  
\- * -  
  


When Adam reaches the Barns it is almost midnight but the place is open. He thinks that maybe Ronan waited for him to come. He probably did. But Adam’s been avoiding it for the last week.

 

The door to the house is also open. Adam muses how Ronan can be so sure about his safety after all that happened. He opens the door and invites himself in.

 

“Ronan?”

 

No answer. No Ronan, and no Orphan Girl too. But there is light in the dining room.

 

Sure enough, Ronan is there. Sleeping on the couch, his tall frame spread and unguarded. Yet, Adam thinks coming closer and sitting on the floor near Ronan’s head, he does not look easy to hurt. Even in his sleep, Ronan Lynch looks sure, powerful, invincible.

 

Adam catches the bluish marks on Ronan’s throat. They have started to pale already but are still prominent. He did this.

 

He looks at his own hands, yet again in fists, and then once more at Ronan.

 

_ Forsan et haec olim meminisse juvabit. Perhaps this too will be a pleasure to look back one day. _

 

He wants to believe this as much as Ronan does. The open doors and Ronan here instead of his own room — Adam knows for sure now that Ronan was waiting for him.

 

_ “Don’t go around doubting yourself.” _

 

Uncurling his fingers, Adam reaches to touch the most visible bruise. It looks like a paint got smudged on Ronan’s throat, a weird continuation of his tattoo. But Adam had seen too many bruises in his life to mistake one for something else even for a moment.

 

Ronan’s heartbeat drums in his blood and Adam can feel it when his hand follows the bruise on Ronan’s neck. It is steady and Adam almost hears it resonating in his good ear, his own heartbeat adjusting to Ronan’s.

 

Ronan breathes in louder and his brows move for a second before he opens his eyes. It takes a moment for him to recognize Adam.

 

“Parrish,” he says. And nothing more. His blue eyes are calm, waiting.

 

Ronan does not take anything for granted.

 

_ “Just don’t hurt him. It’s that simple.” _

 

“Lynch.” Adam closes his eyes and moves forward, touches his forehead to Ronan’s. Heat rises inside him. Shame, and want, and something else.

 

“I’m sorry, I took a bit long.”

 

Ronan takes his hand, entwining their fingers. He doesn’t say anything for a minute or so. Then,

  
“Let’s go to sleep.”


End file.
